Conscious, healthy and real friendships..
A mindful look at the close connections in our lives, what they bring us, how they enhance our world, and tips on how to cultivate more conscious, healthy and real relationships..
Friendship is an integral part of life. We literally have hundreds of people in our lives; that’s hundreds of individual relationships we invest our time and energy in and interact with, sometimes on the daily.
For many of us, we form our friendships during our school years, continuing as we grow as teenagers with some of these friendships remaining alongside us as we leave school and embrace adult life.
We then collect more friends along the way, with job life. People who share the same office space, or the same commute to work. We interact each day and bring those people into our lives.
More friendships are made again when it comes to family life; parents of other children at school or sporting groups. We may even add whole families into our lives, and our friendship circle grows bigger and bigger.
A THING OR TWO ABOUT PERSONAL EVOLUTION..
How you evolve, grow or change throughout your life is inevitable, is entirely unique and is a result of your own personal experiences.
What you value, what lights you up, what you desire to achieve and what matters to you will also evolve over time.
This means, the people around may change too (and this is OK). Friends will naturally come in and out of your life depending on where it takes you.
Sometimes, stepping into a new stage in your life or experiencing radical growth of Self, can activate a noticeable decline of existing friendships. Exploring new avenues, new sides to yourself, new adventures, discovering values that you newly align with, and even making new friends can create a little bit of a shock wave to the old friends in your life.
Most people automatically resist change, and when they see change within someone they feel they ‘know well’, that can be confronting.
This shouldn’t mean that you halt in your personal evolution. Clear communication and respectful acknowledgement of who you both are in the relationship, and constructing healthy boundaries is key to maintaining friendships with those who may be in a different place altogether, but still share a special part in your life.
RECOGNISING UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS..
Life is too short to spend time and energy on things that aren’t beneficial for your peace of mind, personal growth and spiritual development.
This applies to friendships too.
You have every single right to feel loved, supported, respected, acknowledged and heard within any relationship; be it regular friendship, romantic relationships, family relationships or a work relationship.
Often you’ll come across people who aren’t exactly ‘your cup of tea’, but perhaps somewhat of a friendship will form due to proximity and familiarity, for example: a working relationship, or a friendship formed by marrying into a family.
With these types of friendships, you may notice there are things that come up that alert you to how they are making you feel. Would you really be friends with this person if you weren’t sitting side-by-side at a desk all day? How is the balance of respect in this relationship? How do they make you feel, and what sides of you are brought out in their company?
Learn to recognise the behaviour of those around you, but also recognise the behaviour you exhibit in their company. Are you feeling fully expressed or do you keep a lot of your opinions quiet? Are you being heard? Do you feel safe enough to speak your truth and share confidently about who you are and what matters to you?
With any type of relationship, if you are being made to feel insignificant, unworthy, humiliated, bullied, mocked, manipulated, lied to or are being disrespected, then this is the sign of an unhealthy friendship and definitely something you can give yourself permission to step out of. It’s also likely it will be taking more of your precious time and energy than you realise.
DE-CLUTTER (letting go of unhealthy influences that don’t serve your soul..)
Honour this time and this energy of yours, and demand more from your friendships. Get clear on what is working in a relationship (or what isn’t) and know you have every right to let people go who are damaging, unhealthy or even dangerous to your peace of mind and well-being.
Life is too short for mediocre friendships. That might mean spending more time with less people, but it’s likely you will notice a difference in your well-being and your overall outlook on life because of it.
FIND YOUR TRIBE..
This sacred word has been made mainstream and is thrown around a lot within blogs and social media posts, but it’s for a good reason.
Finding your tribe means finding:
like minded souls
safe places to share
heart centred meaning
people who share your passions
opportunities for more personal growth
Finding your tribe means discovering people out there who will have your back, who most likely share many of your passions and values and who see and love you for who you are in your life today.
RAW AND REAL..
Have you ever noticed the difference in how you feel after a raw and real, heart centred conversation with someone?
It might be a close friend, it could be a complete stranger.. either way, there’s certainly something tangible that can be felt after opening up wholly and connecting through honesty, vulnerability and experience.
HOLDING SPACE FOR OTHERS..
To hold space for one another is to listen without responding, to hear without judgement and to sit without distraction. To give the current moment (and person who is sharing) the respect, love and time they deserve.
The next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone who is sharing willingly, notice the next few steps of your mind.
Notice your almost immediate answers, solutions or judgement you might offer up in the moment. Instead, listen to what they are saying. Acknowledge that they have a right to take up space and be heard. Look into their eyes and hold space for what they’re sharing to you.
BE PRESENT WITH THOSE YOU LOVE..
In many modern societies, we hardly connect with the people around us on a real level. Constant distractions take our eyes away from someone’s gaze, often to our phones or to something else we’ve deemed important.
Time is the most valuable thing we have, so who we choose to give it to should be those we cherish most.
It’s commonly quoted from people who are in their later years of life, that they wish they had more time with their loved ones. From relishing in the moment while looking into someone’s eyes, to mindfully noticing the quirkiness of how a parent laughs, to enjoying the quiet company of a best-friend in a single moment.
Push small talk aside. Really listen. Bravely open up. Look into people’s eyes.
Connect from the heart, and experience conscious, healthy and real relationships in your life from now on.
Because life’s too short for anything less.
..yours in wellness, eco babe xox
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